"Easy like Sunday morning…"
Parenting: In two and a half weeks, I will “drop” my son off to college 2,815 miles away from me. He’s excited. I’m excited. And I think we’re both a little anxious. Of course, this will be his first time away from family. He has either lived with me, me and my mother, or just my mother. I have never been more than 90 or so miles away from him. I know that he will do well academically and socially, and I have used this summer to reinforce all that I’ve taught and modeled for him in the past 19 years. Still, I know when we depart after our Sunday brunch before my flight leaves, it is going to take a lot for me to refrain from shedding tears in front of him. I certainly won’t say what my mother said to me when my family took me to UCSB in the fall of 1986, “Well, you’re on your own, kid.” I don’t want to practice a speech or attempt to come up with something clever. I want to be spontaneous and brief, as this will help me stay smiling in his face. I just know that my life (and his) is going to change in a major way.
Self-esteem: I will complete my 46th solar return this September, and I have finally (almost) come to terms with my middle-aged self. I look in the mirror and see the many wiry, silver hairs across my mane, the laugh lines, the bags, the extra skin, and I don’t always dislike it. Sure, if I compare myself to a 20 or 30-year-old, yes. But if I just look at the Felicia that I am today, I feel good about the 46 year-old woman she has become—flaws, attitude, anger issues, irritability, childhood trauma, and all.
Health and nutrition: I am focused on my health and nutrition more than my appearance, clothing, and social life. This is the second time in my life that I have been adamant about what I put in my body and how I treat my body. I’m continuously learning and experimenting. My newest venture will be Pescetarianism (yes, I know this term and way of life is controversial). I want to take some time to limit my meat intake and see if this affects my digestive issues in a good way. I’m not sure when I’ll start the 30 days, but I started limiting my intake of meat a few days ago. My main concern will be finding ways to increase my protein intake on weight training days.
Love: I no longer believe in romantic love or the people who claim to love it. I no longer believe it to be a verb either. It is now just a word. And please keep it to yourself. Thank you.